Several pedestrians made note of an unwelcome visitor to our fine town's crumbling infrastructure early this morning. A juvenile delinquent skunk of unknown origin was holding pedestrians hostage on the one lane Main Street Bridge in downtown Andover at approximately 8:15am EST.
When asked about the overall demeanor of the skunk one pedestrian said "I don't know, I ran." So it is fair to say that the skunk was causing panic and mayhem for village residents.
There is some speculation that the skunk is one of a surfeit of baby skunks from up by the Hilltop cemetery. However, several residents of North Main Street report that the family friendly neighborhood has been very popular with skunk families this season.
There have been no reports of skunks spraying residents at this time, but it is widely known that skunks much prefer to spray your dog for optimal annoyance. Be watchful if walking your dog in this area for the time being. You know your dog would totally roll on your couch or carpet after getting sprayed and no one has time for that.
The skunk declined to give a statement at this time. To be fair, we did not get very close and the skunk may be hard of hearing.
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How can there have been no comments on this stellar piece of investigative reporting? You made my day. Thanks for the laughs!